10:03 AM
* Back after a short hiatus. Just started my new job in Singapore.
Hey Guys,
This is the second installment of my analysis into suicide cases after my previous post on famous korean female celebrities suicide. I'm gonna share something that is going to be really disturbing with everyone. So if you are depressed or weak, it's best not to read.
368,000. Yes, that's the big number in 2012. No, that's not the number of suicide cases in the world. It's the number of searches per month, to look for the solution to commit suicide. It's an alarming rate! Do a simple maths calculation and that is 4.4 million searches a year! It makes you wonder why. Is the world getting more and more depressed?
How to commit suicide - 368,000 searches globally per month
You may think that I am being paranoid and that this figure reflects nothing but simply the work of stupid but curious people surfing the net and they don't really mean to take any action on it. HELL NO! In 2011, the suicide rates have increased 7 times more than 2010. (source: 1011now).
Ok. So what's the number 1 "Killing yourself" reason? It's a no brainer. It's depression! You have seen it. You have heard about it. You read about it somewhere. You thought that it wouldn't happen to Tom, Dick, Joe and Mary. But hell, when they are gone, you start to reflect. What causes depression?
Off my mind, I can instantly think of the top 3 reasons:
1) Relationship trouble
Famous among teenagers or youngsters. It almost seems like when a relationship ended, it is the end of the world. The world seems smaller and more meaningless. The dark cloud covers the daily life and going on seems to be a pain. One of the most famous suicide cases was a Malaysian young chap, the 22 year-old Alviss Kong.
Alviss Kong and his ex girlfriend
Alviss made a shocking announcement to the world on facebook prior to taking his life and his friends thought that he was pulling a prank for some sicko attention seeking reasons. Well, he garnered over hundreds of comments and guess what..... 204 likes! What kind of person will do that? SOMEONE is counting down to his death and you click "like"? Bleeding Christ.
2) Pressure of chasing success
IS PROSPERITY a killer? Yes, it could be. In a developed nation like Singapore, kids are having early childhood education pressure. These days, most children spent their time attending tuition classes right after school. Swimming, tennis, music and ballet lessons happen during the weekends. Home work and additional reading is a daily routine. Such was the hectic life of a children in a developed nation. Competition is tight. You are either one of the bests or you will suffer like the rest. Parents forcing and threatening children to study hard are a norm. In June 2011, Krystal Aki Mizoguchi, an 18-year-old girl fell to her death in Ang Mo Kio, Singapore.
Krystal Aki Mizoguchi
In her last blog post "Crash and Burn", she spoke of her broken dreams after poor A-Level exam results. Rumor has it that, relationship trouble was also a cause to her demise. Let's face it. There are billions of people living in this world but there are hardly enough jobs for everyone. Hell, there are hardly enough food for some people living in poor countries. In a dog-eat-dog world, only the fittest survive. In short, my friend, we are no different from baby crocodiles.
Over in South Korea, an 18 year old boy has committed suicide in the city of Daejeon - just hours before he was due to take a university entrance exam.
Suicide before exam
3) Financial difficulty
It is no surprise that the fall of the economy always causes suicide cases to rise. It's a case of "you can no longer afford to live". Bills are coming, debts are mounting and the endless desire that needs fulfilling. Often is the case that being poor is a major embarrassment to many people in this world.
An out-of-work money manager in California loses a fortune and wipes out his family in a murder-suicide. A 90-year-old Ohio widow shoots herself in the chest as authorities arrive to evict her from the modest house she called home for 38 years. In Massachusetts, a housewife who had hidden her family's mounting financial crisis from her husband sends a note to the mortgage company warning: "By the time you foreclose on my house, I'll be dead." (source: Huffingtonpost)
Texas Mayor, Jayne Peters also found herself in such desperate situation that she decided to take her daughter's and her own life with gunshots.
Jayne and Corrine Peters
Some famous suicides
1) Leslie Cheung
He is arguably one of the most famous celebs of Asia. I was a fan of Leslie. His movies like "A Chinese Ghost Story", "Once a thief" and "He's a woman, She's a man" are unforgettable. A man with such an illustrious career suddenly found himself at the end of the road when he leap from the 24th floor of Mandarin Oriental on 1 April 2003. He was 46. Depression has been cited as the main reason for his suicide that shock the world.
Leslie Cheung
2) Roh Moo-Hyun, ex-President of South Korea
As the President of South Korea, Mr. Roh was seen as the person who will root out corruption, by his ardent supporters. Ironically, it was corruption cases against him that brought him to his end. Roh and his family has been accused of using borrowed funds for personal use. Overwhelmed by shame and the pressure of corruption scandal surrounding his family, Roh took his life on 23 May 2009 by jumping from a 45-meter cliff. He left his final words before departing. Personally, I really feel sorry for the ex-President. His last words were:
"I am in debt to so many people. I have caused too great a burden to be placed upon them. I can't begin to fathom the countless agonies down the road. The rest of my life would only be a burden for others. I am unable to do anything because of poor health. Do not be too sad. Isn't life and death all a part of nature? Do not be sorry. Do not feel resentment toward anyone. It is fate. Cremate me. And leave only a small tombstone near home. I've thought on this for a long time."
Mr Roh's Funeral
3) Lee Yoon-Hyung, daughter of former Samsung chairman
A classic story of "Poor little rich girl". Young, beautiful, clever and bless with fortune of billions, Lee subsequently hanged herself in her Manhattan home. Her death has been a mystery and there were only mild rumors of her failed relationship with a Korean boyfriend due to the pressure from the family because of the guy's lowly status, has been circulating around. I really don't comprehend rich people. What is more important than the happiness and health of your children?
Lee Yoon-Hyung
My view on life and suicide
I figured that, life has too much of a value. Perhaps to some people, it has over-exaggerated its value to the extent that they believe the after-life is a better place. Nevertheless, my view is that, God sent us here for a reason. Perhaps to learn. Hence, it will be disappointing to book an early ticket home.
So what is life after suicide? It's a scary journey. Very scary. My assumption is that, people who are not supposed to die will never get to leave this world until the time is up. They will wander as a lost soul. Living in a world that they cannot touch or feel. Ever heard of people seeing ghost? How do you explain that? If you read my 2nd blog posts (which was many years ago), you would know that I had experienced of seeing them and it's no bullshit.
So the conclusion is, Alviss, Krystal Aki, Leslie Cheung, Mr. Roh, Corinne Peters, Lee Yoon-Hyung and many others may still be around in this world (unless their time is up). And they are now wandering as lost souls, waiting for their time to go. I don't know about you. I think that kind of life is even more depressing!
May those who has left us, rest in peace.
XOXO,
Dillon
Posted in: Suicide cases
52 comments:
outright scary
Why do you always post stuff like this?
I think you are addicted to all these scary things
Me addicted? Curiosity is more like it. Knowing the problem and knowing how to face it is the best way to avoid it. :)
Why do I always post stuff like that? Well, I like it. I like discussing topics of such. Am I not entitled to my freedom of speech? :)
I was actually looking through some sites about how one might commit suicide. Reason why is because my wife's co-worker and a friend just ended her life on March 26, 2012. She just got engaged 2 weeks before she took her life and she was 4 months pregnant. Shes hanged herself in the closet where her Fiance and brother lives and was discovered by her Fiance when he got home from work. It was just so out of the blue and tragic that she took her own life. She was LOVED by many, had LOTS of support but even though with all these people around her they didn't see any signs that one might think that she was suicidal. She did mention about being depressed due to her pregnancy and not having been being able to sleep for a week. It breaks my heart that she had to take her own life along with her unborn child. It's even worst to know that she planned out this whole thing out by searching for it online on how to commit suicide. I too feel that when people take their own lives they are trapped in this world. God put us on this earth for a reason and when one takes their own life is probably the worst thing that you can do. I do pray that God will have mercy on her soul and pray that isn't suffering anymore. We would never really know what one goes through when they think that taking their own lives is the answer. But I hope people will take small signs of trouble into consideration when someone is in need of support rather than brushing it off as a joke.
Oh my God. I am truly sorry to hear about this. Sometimes life is just so painful. People tends to hurt others without thinking. Victims are always the ones that feel that they are trapped. It's more than just depression. They are trapped in their own emotion or their own situation.
It's hard to reach out sometimes. They act normal and then the next thing they would shock the hell out of you.
Dillon, this is a great sight. I think suicide brings relief to a person even before it is carried out. It feels like when you know something is going to happen (anything you may wait for) and the nearer to it you come, the more you want it to happen - like Chrstmas, losing weight, curing ones acne. So, I have been there and think about it almost daily. I can't say I'll never do it. I think my mom would be crushed and feel guilty somehow. That keeps me from it, but I don't know how long I can manage. I not exactly miserable daily, just unhappy with life.
honeyone, you can email to me and talk to me ok? Dont let it get into you. There are more to life. I promise. I may not have the best solutions but I have plenty of suggestions.
My email: dillonyong@gmail.com
honeyone.......Please what ever you do DON'T END YOUR LIFE!!!! There's 7 billion on this earth and I'm sure you're bound to find someone who is willing to help you out in your situation. People can grasp and understand more when someone dies a natural death but when one kills themselves it just hurts them more and makes them feel guilty for the rest of their lives. So PLEASE..seek help where ever it maybe...online...church...friends.
God Bless and Good Luck.
Honeyone,
This is crazy. Life can have so many more meanings. Have you been to the full moon party in Koh Phangan? Have you been to Ibiza island in Spain?
There's so much more to life than you ever think.
Hello,
I did read the full post and I think you`re right. Life is too damn pretty and rewarding to just "skip" the experience. I do hope that other people understand this as well. I thought of killing myself at least once, but then I thought about GOD and the people that gave me life.
We were meant to be here, the thing is that no one will tell you why exactly. It`s a journey you must fulfill yourself.
Best,
from Romania
Dear all,
I have been looking into to ways to take my own life as well. For over 13 years i have suffered from depression and i'm not 30 yet and i'm literally exhausted. I tired of talking too. This sight gave me perspective maybe not the one most people would advise but thanks
i'm going to end my life, can't take it anymore the pain tht i go true........my ex boyfriend already left me but i'm still love him so much, no parents,i'm orphan, resign my job as manager last 1month ago, never get any job until now....all my cash and saving finish....
Oh my God. Talk to me. I am all ears. Please email to dillonyong@gmail.com
Please dont end your life. Just email to me. I will listen.
i think suicide is hard when u have a family to take care of.
Suicide may look like an easy way out which in fact it is not. As I mentioned in my blog post, you'll be trapped in a world where you can only see but cant feel.
There are always difficulties in life. While you live, you can still fix it. If you choose to die, then you can only see how others suffer for your loss.
How to live happily? I dont have an answer. Happiness cant be defined in a simple way as everyone has a different target in life.
Outline the things that can make you happy and go for it. I have heard of people travelling around the world just to rediscover themselves. Go for it.
There are 24 hours telephone lines in many countries that can be called when you feel like you cannot cope with life.
The person answering will listen to you, will not judge you, will NOT refer to religion, and just may help you.
If you are in Australia call Lifeline anytime anyday on
13 11 14. Or go to www.lifeline.org.au for one-on-one chat from 8pm to midnight.
We care.
There are 24 hours telephone lines in many countries that can be called when you feel like you cannot cope with life.
The person answering will listen to you, will not judge you, will NOT refer to religion, and just may help you.
If you are in Australia call Lifeline anytime anyday on
13 11 14. Or go to www.lifeline.org.au for one-on-one chat from 8pm to midnight.
We care.
ive been looking fr a job a long time, its stressing me out,i feel ashamed, i cnt sleep, i blank out n smetimes like today i google ways of commiting suicide. i dnt want to kill myself, my mother would die.. i just feel smething in me will push me too far
I have suffered through many many things, I'm only 13 and you might think what could hav he gone though "nothing"......I have thought of comiting suicide but when I think of it my mom would die of embarrassment through the family....I have a very low self of steam, and my brother always makes me mad.... My mom never sees it but I really just can't no more... Myself only being in my teen years having trouble, I really don't want to go into my adult years.
Hi Anon,
Looking for a job requires some selling skills as well. The product you are selling is you. Google for best resume format. Prepare 5 questions that you would normally be asked - ie: What would be your major contribution to the company? What are the good values that you have that can ensure a great team work? What is your discipline record in the past 3 years (turning up early to work, etc)?
Show your past portfolios. Most people make mistakes on preparation. Think of yourself as a salesman going for a presentation and wanting to close a deal. The selection criteria is normally more than just your talent alone. It's also about being professional, gaining trust and sincerity. All the best to you.
Hi Anon,
Problems do not discriminate based on age. It will visit you even if you are just only 13. Life is like a mathematic equation. It's full of challenges and you may not be able to solve it as quickly as you want it but if you focus, you will get there.
I know it's cliche and you are probably facing a lot of problems right now but let's just say that life is full of calmness and it's peaceful all the time, it will be boring isnt it?
While you still live, you can still solve the equation. When you are dead, there's nothing you can do other than watching others live.
You do not have a perfect life now but dont deny yourself the opportunity to have one in the future.
Well I was. Also thinking of ending my life becuase of the fight I had with my boyfriend.I'm a 18year old girl and I feel like my world is coming 2 an end and every wall is closing up on me and I cann't even breath...I have no one 2 talk to and problems are just crashing in my life and I feel I should just end it once and 4 all
Hi Anon,
Allowing yourself to be stuck in a very little space is not going to help you. Your life dont revolve around your boyfriend.
Open up to more people. Give everyone a chance to know you. The beautiful soul in you deserves a chance to be known by the world. Write down a list of things that you would love to do. That would be a start to a happier life.
Suicide is a personal choice, and should not be condemned. If someone doesn't want to live, they should be able to exit life with dignity. It is not anyone's choice to make, except for the one committing suicide.
I have read your posts and feel fully comfortable now with my decision....I used to be a good person but now all I think about is leaving....I am fully relieved to go.
Thank you Dillon, you have given me the strength to commit suicide. I don't mind being a lost soul, at least then I won't be able to feel pain, misery, rejection, depression etc. I will be free. Thank you Dillon, I am committing suicide because of you.
Thank you Dillon, you have given me the strength to commit suicide. I don't mind being a lost soul, at least then I won't be able to feel pain, misery, rejection, depression etc. I will be free. Thank you Dillon, I am committing suicide because of you.
Dear Both Anon,
I tried my best to persuade you to stay but obviously you have made a firm decision to go. This is all I can afford to do.
I hope God will love you and keep you. While your family mourns you, I hope they will be able to recover well.
I will not question your tragic decision as you reserve the right to your life. Take care buds. I will miss you although I do not know you.
Dillon
For some, there is nothing left to say or do about it. Especially after going through counselling, bad side effects from numerous meds, diet, exercise, charitable projects, success. One can do so much to make life better but nothing eases the emptiness. Suicide runs through the mind over and over. The only escape seems like death, because death stops the brain. If the brain is dead then the thoughts and feelings end.
Anon,
Let's agree to disagree. The thoughts of joy and happiness also end when you end your life.
Try to demand less from life and you will feel a whole lot better. What do you expect your life to be? A rich and good looking prince or princess with 100 trucks of money, living in a castle, partying with the royals, appearing in Forbes every year and get invited to red carpet function?
Most people are just happy to have family, health and friends. These are within your control. Enjoy it.
Dear All,
I have committed suicide few years ago, and now once again I am feeling the same way that noone is there for me. I have always given my entire heart to anyone who came in to my life - whether its a friend or boyfriend or loved one.
I am 28yrs old divorce and now dating someone for past 7yrs but I don't think he understands me at all. Nobody at home, especially my mom or brother understands me. Since before they have always controlled my life by telling me what I should do. Infact, I can't even make a tiny decision of my own. I quit my job last month as I hated it and I did not telling anyone at home about it until today. My mom is upset on me. I don't know what to do!
I have a lot to write and say but I feel its useless because I feel noone has ever understood me till now!
I am thinking of ending my life today. I hope I don't survive this time as I feel my life is not as god had expected me to have. He might have written this for me.
Dear all,
i lost the greatest love of my life because of holding on to some christian beliefs that i could not marry a man who was not a christian like me. as i write, tears are streaming down my face. he moved on and married a sweet wife and they have a cute son. am still unmarried and childless. and miserable.
many other things in my life have not worked out. i was diagnosed with a mental illness and things just aren't working out.
am so fed up with life. my friends and family all have stable happy lives. me, i have wasted opportunities, broken dreams and emptiness.
am now 39 and have never had sex. God promised me a godly husband but he did not give me one even up till now. i left my unchristian boyfriend thinking God would send some christian guy my way. it did not happen.
i cannot go on living in this world knowing my paul is someone else's husband. they are so happy and i am so miserable.
i have nothing left to live for. its over for me. am better off dead and i plan to hang myself today.
Dear Both Anons,
I would say give love some time and another chance. If you take away your life now, you will never know. Someone who deserve to be with you will never get to meet you.
Please dont take it as a cheesy way of saying things. It happens only if you allow it to happen. I really do hope you both can love again.
what else?
I just wish I had someone to talk 2 that actually cared about me! Not just someone saying they "care". Life is so hard, I have so much riding on me and I can't even carry my weight, not alone the weight of others that depend so much on me...trying to stay strong but so hard!
You can talk to me if you want. Strictly no judging. You write and I read. dillonyong@gmail.com
I have had feelings of suicide since I was 12 and I'm 59 now. I've decided to give myself a birthday present for my 60th birthday of ending my life. I'm tired of the pain. I don't have any friends, I lost my mother who was my best friend, I was laid off from my job in February and have not prospects (besides who would hire a depressed, suicidal person for any jop)? I've spend a lot of time on the internet and have come up with a sure way to die and in a way that won't cause me any pain. I've been planning this for a while. I left my therapist and my psychiatrist. I quit every organization with whom I belonged. I spend all my my time isolating, watching TV, and spending time between my living roomn and the bedroom. I know what it's like to lose someone through suicide. My brother commited suicide in 1996, and I saw how it affected my family, espcially my mother. Well, she's dead now, and my aunts, uncles, abnd cousins will get over it, just like I got over my brother's suicide. I can't talk to anyone about it, because if I do they will try to stop me, and I don't want that. This is why I'm reaching out to strangers who can understand how I feel. Thanks fore listening to me, and maybe I'll see you on the other side.
Dear Anon,
Since you have made a firm decision, I take it that there's no way to stop you. Is everything planned and ready? Have you thought about the things you will need your relatives to follow up for you when you are gone? All arranged?
My prayer will be with you. Hope that life treats you better on the other side. Good luck.
My life has been one difficult ordeal after another. I was diagnosed with PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome, when I fainted at age 13 because a cyst had ruptured and I was hospitalized. When I underwent puberty, I developed male pattern hair growth all over my body and face. I got teased about it a lot. My periods have always been heavy, irregular and painful. I've almost passed out sometimes. In middle school, I was bullied/ostracized and that made my self-esteem even worse. I contemplated suicide. In high school, I switched schools and that helped a lot. I got laser hair removal done for my face when I was in the middle of university, and that changed my whole life. I didn't have to deal with such thick hair growth, embarrassment, and painful waxing and tweezing. I felt more comfortable about dating and getting close to people. Then, in what was supposed to be my final year of university, I developed a perianal fistula. My family doctor thought it was a thrombosed hemorrhoid and told me to use suppositories. I screamed in pain trying to insert them. One day, I was in so much pain that I couldn't walk, so I went to the ER. The surgeon told me I had an abscess that needed to be drained and that there was a 50% chance of me developing a fistula. I had no idea what it was, but I let them drain it cause I was in such terrible pain. It took six weeks for the hole in my butt to close up.. it was 13 inches deep and had to be packed daily by a homecare nurse. I took several courses of heavyduty antibiotics and screamed daily because of the pain. I had trouble with bowel movements since it was so easy to have the wound get infected. I couldn't lie on my back or sit down for a long time. Once it look like it had closed up, I thought I could get on with my life. It opened up again a few days later, draining pus and blood. I would need another operation, but since my fistula was so complex, I had a 25% chance of incontinence and having to use a bag for collecting feces. I got sicker and sicker as a few months passed by, but the surgeons didn't want to operate on me and said "nothing was wrong", even though there was a fistula and pus inside. My mother found alternative treatment options, so I got the alternative treatment and am 90% cured. It took me a year to recover and so I had to finish my schooling a year later than expected. During my last semester, I started a relationship with a student at the university. I thought he loved me since he told me so and wanted to be with me in the future. He broke up with me in a very cruel manner very suddenly just days after saying he thought he was falling in love with me. I fell into a slight depression after that, but I wrote my exams with flying colours. After my final exams, I felt pretty good, but one night changed everything. I noticed a large pimple on my face, and I had very clear skin. I applied toothpaste on my face as a mask, and I've been having problems ever since. My skin is red, irritated, inflamed, itchy, burns, and looks awful. I look like a burn victim. I can't step outside for more than a few minutes or my face starts to burn and swell. I haven't been able to do anything all summer because I'm not supposed to go in the sun until it heals. My mother keeps saying I should kill myself and that she wishes I would die. She thinks I am making up my condition, but a dermatologist is treating me for it. I feel like a failure as a daughter because I have not turned out to be how she expected and have been so sick most of my life. My face hurts so much right now. Today, my mother physically hurt me when I said I wasn't feeling well. I don't know what I did to deserve all of this. There is more I could talk about, but this is already very long. I want to commit suicide painlessly to get rid of all the pain. Can anyone give me some advice? Thank you.
I'm in my early 30s and have been battling depression for half of my life. I served 7 years in the military, and during that time never pursued a relationship due to a hectic military schedule. I declined resigning with the military to pursue my dream of graduating from college. I met this great girl that was was also attending college. I did not know this due to never having a symptom, but I somehow acquired oral herpes. The last time I had been with anyone before her was in my 4th year of being in the military and I got myself tested after that. Unfortunately, I did not know I had the disease until she had an infection about 3 months into our relationship. That was about a year ago. We dated for just under a year. She's pregnant and is worried for herself and her baby. I wish I had gotten myself tested, or even better had gotten tested and had never met her. She's a good person and it kills me to know that I have caused her so much grief and agony. She graduates from college this year, and I am supposed to get my degree in the medical field next year. This site has helped me with closure for my life. If you ever read this, I am truly sorry. I honestly did not know. I hope my death can help put some faith back into people. I feel my death is the only path to not cause you anymore additional pain. Goodbye Kitty
Sorry, I forgot to mention that the baby is not mine. I lost my mom when I was 14. No siblings and the closest family member besides my dad, who I never got along with, is a 3rd cousin.
Hi all,
I am less than 38 and ihate myself to love with someone who uses me.I never had a good childhood becase of stepmother and after that also i was never happy..seeing the patterns of the past years i feel no point in continuing living and suffering..seriously i want to die but should look like a accident to others.And let me tell yo,nobody is going to miss me. I stay far away palce from my parents and they will never call me..i only has to call them..so even i ma dead they will not know that say for atleast 5-6months.I ditn feed their ph nm inmymobile.
any help will be appreciated.
Dear All,
The good thing is, you have each other here to hold on to. Be it joy or sadness, it's good to have someone to share with. How about everyone exchanging email and talk to each other?
Dear Dillon,
Thank you for respecting people that post here. I liked your response to the Aug. 14, 2012 post. The poster has a plan, well thought out, and you merely wished the poster well. I'm in a similar place. I've had what I want from my life, and i'm no longer interested. I was happy prior to being born, and my life has been spent waiting to go back home. I hope I find the courage to hurry up and get there. Thank you for listening.
I gotta say some people just cant get anywhere in life and hang by a thread everyday without help because no one cares thats why at some point we just come to terms with that ant let go of the world so in my final words to the world goodbye
Dear Anon,
You are welcome. The same wishes for you. Please do plan everything carefully so that others can follow up for you when you are on your journey.
Best of luck to you. Tell me about the other side in my dream if you can although I dont think I want to make my trip so early unless it's natural causes as I have a lot of things I want to enjoy in this world. I make myself busy with simple expectations that can be easily achieved. :). If you change your mind, you can also do the same. Make a list of things you want to do for yourself but it must be achievable.
Dillon your a beautiful soul.
Dear Anon,
Thanks. I dont think there's anything that I can do to change anyone's mind on this. So my prayer goes to you guys.
You are all connected here. Perhaps, you can connect in the other side with each other? Do take care.
i want to commit suicide because i have deferred my course in the university and it was my dads fault, but now he blames me for it. Help meeeeeeeeee
Dear Anon,
Making such a big decision over a university course is definitely not worth it, my dear friend.
I was in business then I switched to IT and then I regretted and I switched back to Business and graduate as 2nd class honors.
The good thing about study is, you can have 2nd chance and 3rd chance. It's never too late.
I am going to pursue Masters and if God willing, Phd right after that.
Embrace the fall and learn from it. Get your chin up and look further in your life my dear friend.
Thank you
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